Freya Falkenstein- SINGER

The band wants me to tell you a little about myself. "Keep it simple" they said. The band really emphasized that I share as little as possible. They said I can tell you that I am from LA, that I truly love to sing, but I only love it half as much as I love the band. The band saved me from going down, what they called, "the wrong path". The band kept me from working in real estate. I am eternally grateful to the band. They said I could tell you my Uncle was Doug Fieger from The Knack - they said that'll help their street cred. The band looks out for me and gives me what they call "the proper amount of food and sunlight". I love the band. All hail The Bad Clams!

DIRK FURLEY - GUITARIST

Prior to joining The Bad Clams, Furley was the lead guitarist for Pastor Fuzzy, writing their novelty hit Not Another Kidney Stone. He was also a founding member of the punk fusion outfit, Herpie Hancock. Little is known about Furley’s early years. Some rumors maintain that his real name is Felix Greco, an Italian national that was accepted into the Shaolin Temple in Henan province in the early ‘70s and trained as a warrior Monk. Later sightings placed Greco in the jungles of Southeast Asia as an elite assassin helping to overthrow the Laotian government. Eventually sought by Interpol and other international governments, some say he adopted the Dirk Furley moniker and hid on the Midwestern U.S. rodeo circuit, making a name for himself as a stunningly poor bull rider.  Described as ruthless and cold-blooded, Furley enjoys quilting, Irish clog dancing, and any TV show with a laugh track. He can reportedly recite Elaine’s dialogue from every Seinfeld episode.

TEDDY LIKKERBOTTOM - GUITARIST

Teddy replaced prior Clams guitarist Marv Doocey, who was fired after huffing a kerosene soaked rag and taking a bat to a Domino’s pizza delivery robot. Teddy was raised in Britain by two carnival oddities: His mother enthralled audiences by fitting a cantaloupe in her mouth while rolling a cigarette with her feet. His father - who lost the top of his skull playing a game of “Double Dare” at his job in a saw mill -would sit on a blanket as passersby gawked at his brain through a glass enclosure. Having been bitten by the showbiz bug — and Marty the Wolf Boy — Likkerbottom made his way to America, doing odd jobs and eating out of people’s gardens, Teddy was drawn into a Los Angeles cult where his job was lifting the portly “Supreme Being” off the pot. He eventually escaped, meeting the other members of The Bad Clams on a bus, where they quickly bonded over their love of People Magazine’s “Find The Differences” quiz. Outside of playing with the band, Likkerbottom enjoys practicing oracle magic in the woods, driving with his eyes closed while counting to ten, and spending time in his workshop making collectible walking sticks.

KAP STONE - BASSIST

Kap Stone first slapped the bass into submission in 1984 with the glam-metal spectacle Thundervice, a band best known for setting a drum kit on fire during a gig... accidentally. After a few years of Aqua Net-fueled chaos and several cease-and-desist letters from actual thunder-related services, Kap mysteriously “parted ways” with the group. He resurfaced in the '90s as the brooding low-end of Drainflower, a grunge outfit whose most successful single, Bleach Rain was described as “sonic ear-rape” by a critic who later retired from music journalism altogether. Soon after, Kap was kicked out of the band after showing up to rehearsal sober and showered. He later attempted a solo career, recording Stone Alone in a shed behind a vape shop; it was never released due to “creative differences with reality.” Kap  joined The Bad Clams shortly after, mostly because they promised to split tips four ways and owned amplifiers. Despite his uncanny knack for being firmly asked to leave bands, Kap remains a fixture in the regional rock scene and local small claims court. With The Bad Clams, he's found something rare: a band that will put up with a shitty bassist.

CHACHI MUNROE - DRUMMER

Chachi “Rim Shot” Munroe was discovered at age 9 while touring France with the now defunct and variously incarcerated, “Un Deux, Trois, Cats Five.”  Munroe’s deft drumming, perfect time and ability to nap while soloing during the late show at Le Paris Diddle caught the eye of legendary jazz impresario and gin sponge, Kermit Grenouille.  Under Grenouille’s watchful, severely bloodshot eyes, Munroe’s career blossomed as did his appetite for French wine, women and bread.    After a traumatic divorce at 14, Munroe snapped and quit drumming.  He threw down the sticks and picked up knitting needles.  While he was well into his most ambitious project, a festive table runner depicting the beheading of Marie Antionette, Grenouille got wind of “The Bad Clams.”  And a prophetic, pungent wind it was.  When the band’s original drummer, the less than chiseled Danny “Porkpie” Yeshiva collapsed while struggling to unzip his kit bag, Munroe was in.  Over the course of Chachi’s storied career, icons such as, Steely Dan, The Eagles, Earth Wind & Fire, Elton John, Tony Bennett, Sting, The Doobie Brothers, Stevie Wonder and Taylor Swift are just a few of the names he’s heard of.