THE BAD CLAMS PLAYED A PRIVATE PARTY AT MY HOUSE. I DIDN’T ASK THEM TO.

June 13, 2023

JEFF YERBLANSKY - I just came home and they were in my living room. I’d had a long day and all I wanted was to kick off my shoes and throw a frozen dinner in the microwave, but there they were, in full concert. I thought, whoa, am I in the wrong house? I’d had an edible in the car on the way home so it was a possibility, but I recognized all my furniture that was pushed to the side to make room for all their amps and stuff. It flashed through my mind that maybe this was a surprise, like some sort of gift, from my girlfriend. Then I remembered she’s still not talking to me because of the whole Chlamydia thing. I think this band was just going door-to-door looking for easy access, and I of course, forgot to lock my sliding door to the patio so they just thought, “why not?” I thought about asking them to leave, since I really don’t like rock and roll. I prefer Hungarian gypsy jazz and this was definitely not that. I figured I’d wait until they were done with the song they were playing and then ask them to go. But they were in the middle of some extended blues jam. Any way, I warmed up some leftover General Tso’s Chicken and went in the other room and watched TV with my headphones on.